| fuck why why why. confused. already. doubting. already. guh. ugh.meh. all of those kinds of grunts of displeasure. hopefully this feeling will pass and i'll be fine by morning. things are so different. |
| |
| hooray who reads this. hey scott, thanks for letting me get nice and drunk last night. i had fun. and im getting way more comfortable with my ball handling skills. |
| |
| so. the cosmos have aligned and true puppy love is in the atmosphere. now, lets just see how long we can float until the meteor shower. |
| |
| ohmygosh i have no car. it got its ass busted in! but thats just to mark the time. in better news i had such a lovely day. I spent it with a dear, darling friend whom i'm quite smitten over. i had lots of fun and OH MY GOD when can our skin touch?! at all!? i never rush into things like this, because the anticipation really blows your insides out when the energies meet, but oh my its making me weak in the knees. i have to go touch myself now. this is my shout out to you, boy. |
| |
| soooo i like this guy.......aaannnnd......well it's kind of strange honestly, because i'm not good at being aggressive. well, when i like someone. i actually become quite shy. But all i ever hear from my reiki peeps is that my throat is blocked and that worries me, because my communication skills are something i pride myself on. Then Angel says my solar plexus is also blocked and that can definitely transfer. as in, "if you dont know your self worth you won't be able to speak your truth." and i'm like.....what is truth? is it relative? is it permanent? what is MY truth? also, my third eye is closed which makes me very sad, and i've taken measures in a feeble attempt at reconnecting with my spirit. I guess i dont feel a very thick love the way i used to. In any of the ways that have warmed me. my scalenes hurt. i miss kelli already. i miss michael too. The ones that have loved me fully are gone. and there's no resentment, life ebbs and flows and we ride with it. My days are quiet, with holes, my nights are completely empty and cool. and im tired of sex im tired of playing but to really be myself is to really be alone. so which is the lesser of two evils? i'm not involved because there's a spark in this one and im dying to find the fire, but i'm apprehensive because....well because my fucking solar plexus is blocked. i guess. i dont know i just havent written my thoughts in a long time. death is all around me and i cant even acknowledge its black ass. this too shall pass this too shall pass you too shall pass i too shall pass |
| |
